Old and Broken
by stucktothechair
Summary: Remus Lupin tells Tonks they can't be together because he's old and not whole. What if that had to do with someone else? COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

Old and Broken

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters presented in the story, or the Harry Potter universe. I won't even be angry or sue if J.K. Rowling decides to use my plot. Well, maybe I'll sue just so I can buy a Hummer and laugh at all the people who are using nice, small gas-conservative cars. No, scratch that. I'd never buy one of those boxy, energy-guzzling, metallic pieces of … OK getting off subject. In conclusion, I claim absolutely no ownership!

Chapter 1/Prologue

Hermione's husband, Ron had said he'd be right back that morning. But now it was late, almost midnight, and he still hadn't returned. Scared, she flooed from the house in Godric's Hollow they and Harry had been basing their search for the Horcruxes in to Grimmauld Place (they had a special link), where maybe a member of the Order could tell her what was going on.

And when she arrived, she saw two lifeless bodies laid out on the kitchen table, Ron and Harry both.

And all the members of the Order – save Lupin (it was a full moon after all) – were standing around them.

"What's – what's going on?" She choked.

"Hermione" Bill Weasley said, through his tears, "They were the last Horcruxes . . . They died valiantly, Ron took out six deatheaters before, before" He trailed off.

"Harry killed Voldemort . . . that destroyed all the deatheaters . . . Their dark marks just . . . but he knew that the bit of the soul in him would give him a chance to come back. He knew he had to . . ." Mrs. Weasley broke off into sobs.

"When were you going to tell me? I am . . .I was Ron's wife! I'm carrying his child! How was I supposed to know? How was I supposed to say goodbye?" She fell to the ground in sobs.

The members of the Order looked around in shock.

"You're pregnant?" Kingsley Shackleboat asked.

"Yes . . It's OK though. Just because Ron was a Horcrux doesn't mean anything, right?"

Molly Weasley broke out into a new wave of tears.

"We're so sorry . . ." Mundungus Fletcher added, before so many wands, at least twelve, rose and shouted in unison "Imperio!"

Ginny walked down the stairs, sobbing violently – after all, she had lost Harry who had proposed just the night before, coming to see what the new commotion was about. She grasped her stomach and shrieked "What are you doing to Hermione?"

"She's carrying Voldemort's child" Tonks said faintly.

"No! It's Ron's baby – it's Ron's!" Ginny screamed. "Somebody has to stop this! Stop it!" Ginny ran about, tugging on her mother's robes. "Don't do this, mum. Please don't . . ."

"Hermione, you must make the Abortive Potion" Molly Weasley said anyway.

It felt so wrong to mix the ingredients, to go about the kitchen gathering things, seeing so many teary eyes watching her. She tried to stop, but there were so many of them, so many curses laid upon her. An hour later, she had finished.

"Drink it." Condemned the grandfather of her child.

Hermione faltered, but soon other members of the Order were giving their commands also. And she raised the potion to her lips and swallowed, crying the whole time.

"Finite incarnun" Whispered those who had been her friends.

She felt such pain, as she ran upstairs. Ginny followed her.

In the bathroom, she cried, knowing the last bit of Ron was gone. She could never face his family again.

"Muffliato" murmured Ginny, locking the door.

"Hermione?" She started.

"Wha-what?"

"Hermione, I'm pregnant with Harry's baby."

Hermione immediately hugged her lone friend tightly. "Don't tell anyone else" she said into Ginny's ear. "I've seen Harry's will. He left almost everything to me, on the event of Ron's death. Grimmauld place, a fair chunk of money. Of course he left some a lot to your family too. But if he had known about you, I know you would be in my place. You can stay with me when you give birth, you'll always be welcome." Now she couldn't help but rant "How could they be so stupid? Just because they were Horcruxes, it doesn't mean the babies will inherit that. Yours won't, I know. Mine wouldn't have either, I researched it, you know?" Then she broke down, for what seemed like the millionth time that day.

"They were wrong, so wrong" Ginny sighed.

"I can't go back. I was going to try to become an auror. But I … I won't now. I'm going into the muggle world. I think I'll open a café. I always wanted to do that, you know. I know it's hardly a dream job, but we can work there together. You don't even have to work. Just promise me that you won't . . . please don't leave me alone"

They were both crying, crying for everything they'd lost.

"If you promise me the same thing."

Hermione smiled sadly. "I promise"

"I do too then."

"Ginny, will you be my secret keeper now, for Grimmauld Place? I can't . . . not McGonagall"

"I understand. We'll do the charm right now."

"Sitting on the bathroom floor" Hermione added and they laughed, even if the smiles didn't reach their eyes.

Twenty minutes later, they lifted the muffliato and walked down the stairs. Hermione raised her head high.

"As owner of Grimmauld Place, I want you all to leave. If you ever, ever try to contact me again-"  
"Or me" Ginny interjected, and Hermione continued to talk

"I will make sure you go to Azkaban for what you've done to me. How could you have put me under the imperius curse? You're disgusting. You've broken me, I'm not ashamed to admit that" tears streamed down her face, but proud tears. "You killed your grandchild, your nephew or niece, or just an innocent soul, all out of a silly superstition that would have never come to pass. Never. And I can't look at you."

The Order was horrified.

"Her-my-own-ee . . ." Fleur began.

"Go away" Ginny said quietly. When they didn't move, she shouted "OUT!"

"Ginny, come on, sweetie" Mrs. Weasley said.

"Mum, I have a new family now" and they left an ocean of tears in their wake, taking Ron and Harry's bodies with them.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A few days later, Remus Lupin showed up at Grimmauld Place. But for the life of himself, he couldn't see Number 12.

"Hermione?" Ginny said while taking a batch of muffins out of the oven, "Professor Lupin's outside. Should we let him in?"

"I'll get it" Hermione volunteered, going to the door.

"Professor, come on in, do you want some breakfast?" Hermione wiped a pesky tear away. She was always crying these days.

"Yes, yes. What's wrong? All the Order" (more sobs) "will tell me is that it's over. What's going on?" Hermione led him to the kitchen and poured him some coffee, as Ginny passed out the muffins.

"Ginny . . . will you?" she started.

"Yes, of course. A week ago, everything ended. Harry killed Voldemort, but he and Ron were the last Horcruxes" (thankfully, the Order knew about Horcruxes, though not enough to stop being selfish silly prats about it) Ginny was crying a bit now too. "Anyways, they . . . sacrificed themselves. We two didn't know anything until the Order returned that night. But Hermione told them she was pregnant. And they immediately . . . put her under the imperius curse. They made her abort the baby."

Remus was silent in disgust and shock. "But didn't they know that the Horcrux in Ron wouldn't have affected his child?" He asked after a while.

"They didn't even wait. I couldn't stop them, I tried so hard. But Lupin, I have a secret. Only Hermione knows. But, well, will you promise not to tell anyone. I mean, make a vow" and he did, a wizard's vow.

"What is it?" He finally asked.

"I'm pregnant, with Harry's baby. And there is no way I'm ever going to give him or her up. Never. Hermione said I could live at Grimmauld Place. We're going to open a coffee shop in muggle London."

"The Potter's Stand" Hermione added. "That's what we're calling it."

Remus nodded.

"I have a question for both of you. Will you be the baby's godparents?" Ginny asked.

"Of course" Hermione said softly, while Remus nodded again.

"I still can't believe them. Will you ever come back?" Lupin questioned.

"I can't cut off the wizarding world completely, it's too much a part of me. But I can't face the Order, or anyone I once knew. Oh, I'm not whole anymore. I feel so old."

Remus's ears perked at the familiar words.

"Don't worry, Professor. You've found a niche in the world. You've got your dream job at Hogwarts and Tonks too. You don't have to fight for my honor, just come say hi sometimes." She got up from the table. "I think I'm going to go check out the place for rent on Multon's Street. It might be perfect. I'll be back in time to take you to St. Mungo's for the checkup, Ginny. I'll see you later, Professor" And with that she left.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Four years later, The Potter's Stand was the most popular café in the neighborhood. And on a warm September evening, a man walked in to find a poetry reading was about to start in the back. A familiar purple-haired young woman watched appreciatively as a little girl with red hair, piercing green eyes and glasses walked onto the stage.

"Welcome evwy one to The Potter's Stand. Let the Potter Poetry Comp-compit-compit – Mummy what's the word?"

Ginny Weasley smiled while the regular customers laughed. They were actually amazed that a three year old could even introduce a poetry reading, but that's a wizard's child for you. "Competition, sweetie"

"What my mummy said. Bye!" She received thunderous applause and sat down on her mother's lap.

"Lily looks so much like Harry" Remus said to the woman with such bright hair.

"She does, doesn't she?" Hermione agreed.

Suddenly a memory kicked into the werewolf's mind. "Umm., Hermione. Your hair . . ."

"Oh yes, it's purple. I know. I'm doing my Diagon Alley birthday ritual tonight. I've learned my lesson long ago about going there without a disguise. Who would guess this rebellious purple-haired, fishnet wearing, black-donning rebel is the sole-surviving, bookwormy third to the Golden Trio? Oh, don't look so surprised about the fishnets, it's just for one night."

"Umm, yes, of course. Well here's your gift then." He thrusted a package at her. "GoodluckthenandI'llseeyoulater" and with that he disappeared quite quickly.

Hermione was very confused as Ginny came over to talk.

"Was that Remus?" she asked.

"Yes, and he was acting very strangely."

"He always acts weird around you."

"He does, doesn't he? Well, I think I'm going to head off. I'll be back late, I suppose."

"Alright. Have a good time, and happy birthday! Oh, I love the hair by the way. Purple suits you." Hermione laughed and went into the back room to apparate. When she ended up in Diagon Alley, on a rather deserted and grimy end of it, actually, she remembered she was still holding Remus's gift. It was a stationary kit, all in Gryffindor colors. She smiled and stuffed it in her purse.

Walking down a little further, something caught her eye in the window of a junk store. It was a time turner! Nostalgia for her third year overwhelmed her, and she impulsively decided to buy it (despite that it was probably illegal). Giddy with excitement, she exited the store ten minutes later with her pockets considerably lighter.

She laughed joyfully and ducked into an alleyway behind a pub and inn (The Goblin's Gore), and decided to test it out immediately.

She turned it once, and in doing so, realized her mistake.

It was a decometer - something that historians used to take them back decades instead of hours (the blue sand and Latin inscription gave it away). But soon she was whirling into 1999 with nothing to stop her.

When she landed, she perused her infinite knowledge and knew that she'd be stuck in this time for a whole year and then would return to her time as if only an hour had passed. She weighed her options and decided to get a job and try to keep a low profile, hoping not to meet anyone she might know. Especially not Order members . . .

She looked up at the sky and saw the familiar constellations from those nights at Hogwarts in astronomy class, and they comforted her, the moon was full.

She walked from the alleyway and immediately noticed that the Goblin's Gore had a Help Wanted sign in the dirty window. This would do just fine . . .

She walked in and found it actually a bit crowded. Apparently the place was popular despite its poor condition. She headed for the bar and the man behind the counter.

"Hallo! I'd like to inquire about the Help Wanted sign outside" She said as cheerfully as possible

"Arr Finally! Someone to help! Do you got any references or experience?" He asked.

"Ummm … I'm sorry … No."

"That's OK! As long as you can carry a plate and pour a shot of firewhiskey."

"That I can do, sir"

"Yer callin me sir! I like you already. Now, people don't normally stay long here at the ole Goblin's Gore. My bartenders away tonight on his day off as it is. Anyhows, yer duties would be as a waitress from 3 in the afternoon to 3 in the morning. You'd get an hour of breaktime in between. I pay 60 galleons a day, which is real decent if you asked me. Are you in?"

"Umm, first, is there any way I could rent a room here?"

"Well, that's just what my bartender does, he's a right good lad he is . . . Oh, yes, of course. It'll be 600 galleons a month just about, I'll just take it out of your paycheck, if that's alright. You'd get four days off a month, you can take em any days yer want. Actually, it's best if you take em off on Mondays. That's our slow days. Yup, you get each Monday off. So are you in?"

Hermione thought for a minute. The pay wasn't that good and the hours absolutely stunk. But she didn't want to let anyone know she was here, and this seemed as good a place as any to spend her year.

"I'll take it!" She said with decision.

"Great. I'll need you to sign a contract, though. For the room too."

"How longs the contract for?" She asked suspiciously.

"Just a year. Like I said, no one stays here too long" He laughed.

Soon she was an official employee, and tenant, although under the name Violet Guinness. That night she collapsed into sleep wondering how life had gotten so complicated.

She woke up the next morning with the Crack! of someone apparating into the room across the hall. She knew it must be the mysterious bartender (from the endless ramblings Mr. Chapwell had told her about him as he'd shown her up to her room. Of course, he had said everything except his name "He mixes a mean Fizzing Whizbee, that one does, etc, etc)

To get off on the best foot possible, she decided to go introduce herself. They would be working 12 hour shifts together, after all.

She knocked politely on the door to Room 12. No answer. She knocked again. She considered that he might be anti social. But what if he had splinched when apparating? What if he was hurt? What if he had tripped on a shoe? Gathering her Gryffindor courage, she slowly opened the door.

And there, passed out on the bed was the man she'd be spending almost every minute with for the next year. And it just had to be a 30 year old Remus Lupin back from a night as a werewolf.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey thanks for all the reviews! 

Chapter 4

Hermione mentally kicked herself for signing a contract to work at The Goblin's Gore. No wonder Professor Lupin always looked at her strangely. She was the waitress he'd spent a year with.

Future or no future she was going to make the best of the situation.

So she marched over to his collapsed body and immediately began healing his scrapes and bruises.

And after half an hour, she was almost as exhausted as the still unconscious werewolf. Lycanthropes sure know how to inflict damage upon themselves.

She didn't even realize she had fallen asleep in the chair next to his bed. Well, not until she woke up with a wand to her throat.

"I don't know who you are, but you'd better tell me soon. I've got your wand." He was trying so hard to look menacing. Hermione suppressed a giggle, knowing this was the same man who had taught Lily how to ride a broom (while falling off himself)

"What are you doing in my room anyways?" He added.

"Oh, good morning. I'm Violet Guinness, the new waitress. I came in-"she yawned, for effect, "to say hello. You were pretty cut up, so I took the liberty of helping you out a bit. Sorry I dozed off there" she blushed, realizing she was rambling, stood up and pushed him and the wand away from her.

She was almost out the door when –

"Violet? My name is Remus Lupin, I'm the bartender, which I assume you knew. I, err, have your wand"

"Oh!" She spun around and plucked the wand out of his hands.

"Err, Violet?"

"Yes?"

"You saw me, umm, passed out. And my . . . wounds . . . I got in a fight you know" He wondered if she believed him. She seemed smarter than that.

"Remus? Stop. I understand. I really do get the _condition _you're in. And I definitely don't care." She smiled. It was actually really nice to see a familiar face.

Unexpectedly (for both of them) she hugged him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Turning an unappealing shade of red, she backed away

"Right then. I'll see you when shift starts" She turned rapidly and ran out the door, leaving a confused Remus alone, touching the spot on his cheek where she'd kissed him, while resolving to lock his door more.


	5. Chapter 5

Again, thanks for all the reviews! Oh, and Angel sumoritos, as fluffy and potentially romantic as their first meeting was, Moony's next visitor could be a drunk Mundungus Fletcher stealing his sneakoscopes . . .

Chapter 5

Hermione/Violet went downstairs to the kitchens to eat a very belated lunch. She was heating some soup on the stove when a sleepy Remus walked in.

"Hey" She smiled, pouring, obtaining a bowl from a cabinet.

"Do you want some soup?" She asked.

"Sure" He mumbled, and she grabbed another bowl and poured them portions, as he left the room for the bar, and returned with two glasses.

"Aguamenti!" He exclaimed.

"Cool trick" Hermione/Violet complimented, taking one of the cups of water.

"Thanks." They sat at an old wooden table, slurping their soup in silence.

"You know what? Since you know my deepest darkest secret, it's only fair that I should know something about you" Remus said jokingly.

"What do you want to know" Please don't ask why I'm here, please oh please don't ask that She internally pleaded.

"Why in the world is your hair purple?"

She laughed. "Oh, that." She squinted at her now empty bowl, thinking of how to word her answer properly. "You see, I had a bit of a falling out with my . . . wizardly friends. So whenever I return to areas like Diagon Alley, I like to disguise myself"

Remus nodded. He knew what it was like to want to hide what you really were.

"What happened?" He asked softly.

Hermione panicked, and apparently it was quite evident to the werewolf.

"Oh, you don't have to tell me. It was very . . . tactless of me to ask. I'm really sorry . . ." He awkwardly patted her back.

"Oh, look at the time, shift's about to start" She jumped up, knocking over her bowl. "How clumsy of me. . . Reparo!" She shouted, about to cry.

Again Remus was left alone, very confused again, as Hermione rushed out of the kitchen into the dusty bar.

The rest of the evening, Hermione put on a very convincing, cheerful façade, as she ran from table to table, in the surprisingly popular pub.

Remus watched her smiling while taking an order. Maybe it was just his eyes playing tricks on him, but he thought he saw a tear trickling down her cheek.

"What's wrong with you? You can't break down like that . . . You're such an idiot . . . It's been five years already, five bloody years." Hermione mumbled in the comfort of her room. She buried her face, feeling very despondent, and disgusted at herself for being 'weak', as she slipped into a feverish sleep.

And Remus stood outside the door, feeling guilty, but listening with his wolfish senses anyway, wondering if it would be alright to go in and see if he could ever comfort her. Instead, he went to his room and slept.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Hermione woke up early, even though she had gone to bed late. She needed to shop for something to wear other than fishnet stocking, an extremely uncomfortable leather skirt, and a Weird Sisters T-shirt. She wondered if the Weird Sisters had even been formed yet. She had served a few women in the bar last night who had been discussing starting a band, and they had looked very intently at the logo on her shirt. Time travel was very confusing indeed.

Walking out of a thrift store with a few bags in hand (it was about all she could afford right now), she passed by an apothecary's store. She gazed at it thoughtfully, as a sudden idea hit her . . .

Remus was worried. Violet was locked in her room. He hoped she still wasn't upset over whatever touchy subject he'd managed to dredge up the night before. A strange smell wafted from under the door. Was she brewing something?

If Violet had acted strange the first day he had met her, it was nothing compared to the month that passed. She left at random moments, even during working hours.

Despite everything, a tentative friendship had formed. They had to spend a lot of time together at the bar, and on weekdays, when times were slow, there wasn't much to do but talk and sing off-key Elvis Presley songs together (apparently the 'King' had been a wizard, and was living richly and retired in Wizarding Paris – but that's another story).

She was never that open, but then again, neither was he.

The afternoon before, she gestured him into her room, only minutes before he planned to apparate to the Shrieking Shack to transform. Needless to say, he felt terrible.

"This is what I've been doing all month" She said, leaning over a simmering cauldron, and filling a vial with potion. "It's been nice to brew again" She handed him the vial.

"Umm, yes. Thank you" Lupin looked at it questioningly.

"It's Wolfsbane. You should know that. Did I brew it wrongly?"

Lupin was stunned. "No one's ever done something like this for me. I've never had the honor to drink this. . . Thank you so much Violet"

She smiled encouragingly.

"Go get 'em, Moony" She whispered, walking out the door. "Drink it right before moonrise" She added, before leaving to start her shift. He looked happily at the bottle, before an astonishing thought crossed his mind. Had she just called him 'Moony'?


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Ahem! The inclusion of a world history essay on Roman law was a strategic move in my story – ach, who am I kidding? _That_ mistake is going to take a while to live down.  Sorry for the mistake, and I hope you all learned something about Rome that you didn't know before. Erm, on with the real story . .

Chapter 7

A bit more that two months later, right after The Goblin's Gore had closed early for the night, a desolate Violet sat at the bar, thinking about Christmas in two days and feeling sorry for herself. Remus watched with concern, as Violet started to reach for a bottle of gin.

"What in the world are you doing?" He pushed the alcohol away. "You never drink!"

"Neither do you . ." she mumbled.

"Yeah, well, I have a health problem to consider" He retorted.

"Sorry, I wasn't thinking." They stared indignantly at each other for a minute.

"What are you doing for Christmas?" Violet broke the silence.

"I'll probably go visit my mum at St. Mungo's"

"I didn't know your mum was there. . . I'm sorry"

"Don't be. She put herself there after my dad left. _Alcoholism_" he emphasized.

"Does that mean she's in rehab?" Violet was a little confused at the concept of going to the hospital for drinking.

"No, it means she drunk herself into a stupor and put herself into a freakin' coma!" His voice rose, showing his obvious annoyance.

"I'm so sorry, Remus. I didn't know . . . . my brain just wasn't working for a minute . . ."

"Yeah, well it wasn't. And you were probably going to say that I can't feel anything. And you were probably going to say I'm some sort of half-breed who's so inhuman that I can't-" He crushed the glass he was holding in his bare hand, cutting it badly.

Violet jumped up from the bar and backed away from this side of Remus she had never known. He had always been so collected and calm before. . . . And how could he not care about these things? His denial of his lack of feeling seemed to only emphasize its existence. Then she heard a voice in her head speaking _You don't feel anymore either . . ._

She pulled out her wand and muttered a quick spell which pulled the shards of glass out of his hand. As they dropped to the floor, she said another one to stop the bleeding and probable infection.

"I have no clue why you decided to lash out at me. I know I wasn't so tactful before, but not enough so to deserve that" She began, fists clenched at her sides. "But don't be so high and mighty as to assume that I don't know what you're going through! That I'm as chipper as a bird! Sure, I don't have some drunk for a mum and a runaway for a dad! But I still have lost something! Something I cry myself to sleep at night just knowing I'll have to dream about him! So for goodness sakes, pull yourself together!" She sobbed.

"Violet-" He started, but she had already left.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Needless to say, the next day Remus felt absolutely horrible for what he had said. He walked into the bar, wondering profusely why in the world he had yelled at her. She didn't deserve it, and that's what really, really bothered him. She was unnaturally cheerful all the time, smiling and happy, but he was 100 sure he had heard her sobbing late at night. It was a sin in his opinion to act like everything was perfect when it wasn't. (Even though he did the same thing)

He saw her unlocking the door, ushering in the first patrons.

He walked over to her, and whispered in her ear

"Violet, we need to talk"

She stalked over to a table and magically conjured place sets, ignoring him pointedly.

"Please, I was an idiot" He begged.

And still, she exuded her innate stubbornness.

"Will you just listen?" He added, hopefully.

"I believe I heard enough last night!" She said tartly, turning to another table, continuing her work.

There were two old men, sitting at the bar.

"Oi! Bartender! Pour us a drink!" One rudely called to Remus.

"Just a minute!" He answered, before returning to Violet. "Please, please, please just hear me out" He cried.

"Make it quick, you've got customers" She faced him, but ignored his gaze by examining her fingernails.

"I was a stupid imbecile and I'm not worth a second of your time. But I love spending time with you and you are my best friend in the whole world" He kneeled onto the ground "I lashed out at you and you didn't deserve it, and I'm immensely sorry and apologize a gazillion times!" He looked at her hopefully, and saw her break into a grin.

"Oh, get up!" She admonished, helping him to his feet.

And then she hugged him tightly. "No one's ever apologized so quickly!" She grinned.

She let him go and awkwardly patted his shoulder. "You have customers waiting"

She beamed the rest of the night.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

On Christmas morning, Violet knocked violently at Remus's door (at an unbearably early hour)

"Wake up! It's Christmas!" She shouted.

"It's too early" came the response.

"Nonsense!" She cheerfully exclaimed, before muttering 'alohamora' and opening the door. She found a groggy Remus laying face-down on his bed, trying to drown out her noise by pressing a pillow over his head.

She giggled, before 'accio-ing' the pillow over, and tossing it aside.

"Time to get up!" She said a bit too cheerfully.

"I'm moving" Remus sat up.

"I used to drive my friends crazy by always getting them books for the holidays." She randomly related.

"Really? Same here. Could you turn around so I could get dressed?"

"Oh sure" She said, turning. "Well, that's not what I got you"

"Erm, thanks? OK, I'm done. Do you want your gift?"

"Of course!"

"OK, well, pick" He ordered.

She faced him, confused. "Pick what?"

"Anything."

She still stared at him, dumbfounded.

He sighed. "This is embarrassing" He muttered under his breath. "Your gift – you can pick anything at all from my stuff. I, well, can't really afford right now to give you a proper-"

Violet beamed at him. "I think it's a lovely gift!" She remarked, gliding across the room, and giving him a peck on the cheek. "Now let's see" She said, half to herself. She walked over to the dresser, and pulled open the shirt drawer. Digging to the bottom, she grabbed a Gryffindor-red sweater, which smelled of fresh quills and newly mown grass (however in the world he smelled like that, she didn't know)

"This is it" She concluded, smiling. "Now, for your gift!" She lifted her wand "Accio Remus's Gift!"

Into her arms flew a rather large fish tank. "Oof!" She squeaked, as it's weight knocked her over. Remus hurried to her, and helped her struggle to the ground.

"What's in there?" He asked, seeing only murky water.

"It's a grindylow! I named him Rufus. You can change the name if you want" She handed him the tank.

"I know how much you like Defense Against the Dark Arts."

He stared at the tank in awe before setting it on his dresser. He then plopped down on his bed. Violet followed suit, pulling her new sweater over her head.

He wasn't sure, but he thought he heard her cast an everlasting smell charm on it.

"Come on!" She ordered, standing up and pulling him with her.

"What now?" He groaned, secretly very happy.

"I feel like Honeydukes" She said mysteriously, before tugging him out the door.

And they spent the whole day in Hogsmeade. As the sun set, they somehow ended up in front of The Shrieking Shack.

"This is the most haunted building in England, you know," She said. Did he see the glint of a smirk on her face?

"It's where I used to transform when I was at Hogwarts" He admitted. "I'm pretty sure I was the ghost"

She giggled. He liked hearing her laugh, even if some people thought it was an annoying one.

"Come on" She said, patting his back. "Let's go to The Three Broomsticks. I'm starved"

Neither of them could remember a happier day since their respective times at Hogwarts.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

One month in March, the full moon fell on a Monday (Violet's day off). She immediately suggested that she go to the Shrieking Shack with Remus, so he wouldn't have to be alone. He readily agreed. He hated being alone.

They sat in a dilapidated room; Remus curled up at Violet's feet on a dusty four-poster bed. Violet started off trying to read _Paradise Lost _out loud, but after a few hours, her voice was outrageously sore, so she tossed the book aside.

"Sorry, Remus" She murmured very softly. "I can't stay up quite" And with that she fell asleep.

Remus (in wolf form of course) cocked his head, confused, as he had not been able to hear her. He rose and cautiously walked over to where she lay, nudging her head. But she was out, and he lay down again, deciding to get some rest.

And, of course, that's how they woke up (both fully human).

"Good morning" Remus greeted her. Their faces were almost touching, and late morning light streamed through the murky windows.

"Good morning" She returned, smiling, but still half asleep.

Remus suddenly had the urge to do what he'd been longing to for months on end now. He leaned his face in further . . .

But Violet jerked away and stood up. He sat up, sadly wondering if she was thinking about the person she said she still dreamt about.

"I need to get back to the inn" She excused herself "I must smell filthy"

Remus thought she smelled fine, but now probably wasn't the time to tell her so.

"I'll be right behind you" He said instead, trying not to let the disappointment show on his face.

When she apparated out, he wondered if, as much as he hated it (like any sane person), if he would always have to be alone.

A/N Sorry this chapter was pretty short. I just wanted to make sure something happened between December and June. Thus, a chapter on March. Anyhow, thanks for all the reviews, and I'm elated people seem to like my story. 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

It would be a lie to say things were not awkward after the Shrieking Shack incident. But Remus and Violet had an unspoken agreement, and never mentioned it. Quite soon they returned to their normal routines, and back to their original joking and cheerful relationship.

On a warm day in June, Violet was trying to show Remus how to make the Wolfsbane potion, 'trying' being the keyword.

"Ok, so add the boomslang skin, then turn three times counterclockwise" She ordered.

And he promptly added the manticore skin and stirred twice clockwise.

"No! Don't do that!" Violet said.

"Erm, too late?" Remus joked, smiling. "Besides, it looks fine" He added nonchalantly.

"It's supposed to be a light green!" Violet reprimanded shrilly.

"Green, purple, what's the difference? Now, I add the toenail of slug now?" He asked, dropping it into the mixture.

"No-" Violet belatedly began, but too late, as the cauldron exploded, sending purple goop flying everywhere.

Remus laughed heartily. "It matches your hair" He choked out. Of course, Violet was soaked while he only had a gob on his forehead.

"Oh, you think this is funny?" She asked, wiping the goop off her arms. She reached into the broken cauldron, pulled out a handful of the stuff and flung it at him.

It missed.

"Your aim really need some work" He laughed.

Determinedly, she grabbed some more of the gunk and threw it at him successfully.

"Oh now your in for it!" He lunged for the cauldron, but Violet blocked him, and they were both sent tumbling to the ground. He sat up, but Violet remained, face up, staring at the ceiling.

He turned to her.

"Who do you dream about?" He randomly asked.

"What are you talking about?" Violet blinked, and sat up also.

"You said, at Christmas, when we had that fight, that you cried yourself to sleep because you were dreaming about someone." He looked at her dismayed expression. "I'm so sorry, Violet, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to" He wrapped his arm around her, kissing her cheek.

She sighed. "It's OK. I'll tell you" She took a deep breath when someone knocked on the door.

They stoop up quickly.

"Come in!" Violet yelled absentmindedly, reaching for her wand and trying to clean up the huge mess.

And, in walked Albus Dumbledore.

"I hope I'm not intruding" He said good-naturedly, a twinkle (of course!) in his eye. "I was hoping to speak to Mr. Remus Lupin. He wasn't in his room, and the owner of this fine institution said he might be here"

Violet excused herself after quickly banishing the rest of the purple stuff. She knew what was coming, of course. Her third year at Hogwarts would be starting in September… and Remus would leave to teach then.

She sat in the kitchen staring into a cup of coffee for at least an hour, when Remus walked in.

"I was offered a job teaching DADA" He stated, leaning against the door.

"What did you say?" Of course she knew the answer.

"I'm going to take it" He said, walking over to her and taking a seat.

"That's really great, Remus. I'm really happy for you" She replied, trying to muster enthusiasm.

"I'm going to miss you" He said quietly.

She looked at him, and they made eye contact. She broke away quickly. She could never look into his eyes. They counted on her too much.

"I'm going to miss you too. More than you'll imagine" She added the last bit very softly. She hugged him (much too rapidly in both opinions) before going upstairs. Why she was always leaving him alone, she couldn't tell.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

In late August, Violet apparated with Remus to Platform 9 ¾. The last night had been a full moon, and Remus was completely exhausted. She was holding Rufus's cage, and both were hanging on to each other for support.

They faced each other, and Violet began on a motherly rant.

"Now Remus, remember to take your Wolfsbane potion, I'm sure Snivellus will make you some. Feed Rufus twice a day, and remember not to give him Gillyweed, it makes his sinuses go all out of whack. And make sure you find an empty compartment on the train so you can get some sleep, you must feel terrible-"

He laughed.

"Calm down" He said, taking the tank out of her hands and balancing it on top of his suitcase. "I'll be sure to do all those things – wait? Did you say Snivellus?"

"He was the potions master when I went" She admitted. "It's a perfect name for that greasy git" She added.

He was confused, but gave a hearty laugh anyhow.

He gave her a peck on the cheek. "Come visit me, please?" He asked, on a more serious note.

"Of course I will" She answered. She looked into his eyes and counted to 1 . .2 . . 3 . . 4 . . . And broke contact. She had never made it past '6'.

"Um Remus" She said, as he started to walk away. "The person I dream about" He looked interested and returned "It's, well, you see." She looked down. "I was pregnant once, I was married. But . . . my husband died and, right after I had a . . . . miscarriage. I dream about the baby, what he could have been . . It was a boy." She finished lamely.

"I never knew." He said, at a loss for words.

"I never told you" She said. She found she could look into his eyes now. When had she not been able to do that? When had she been able to look into anyone's eyes for that matter?

"You're my best friend" She added. "I love you" She said softly.

"I love you as well" He said, so sincerely. She hugged him.

He gave her a sad smile, and walked onto the train.

As he left, Violet let out a strangled sob.

"I dream of you, too" She whispered to an empty platform.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N About the 1999 thing: I picked my time-turner year based on the publication dates of my copies of the books. I know that's really random, but oh well… On with the story! P.S. Thanks for all the reviews!

Chapter 13

Dear Violet,

I met the strangest girl on the train, not that she was strange, but that she looks exactly like you – without the purple hair of course. I didn't say anything, but do you happen to have a niece or cousin going to Hogwarts?

On the train, the ministry actually allowed Dementors on board, to check for Sirius Black. Harry Potter (he looks so much like James) passed out (he was in my company. He, Hermione – your clone, and Ronald Weasly, who has very red hair and a crush on Hermione, had all decided to occupy my cabin, finding none left and me asleep. ). I do hope he wasn't hearing the screams of his parents dying, whenever I see Dementors, I hear my transformations (before wolfsbane of course). I had to cast a Patronus to make them leave.

Classes begin tomorrow, I just wanted you to know I arrived rather safely.

I'm thinking of you

Remus Lupin

Violet smiled as she read his letter, and wondered if he would figure out her secret before writing out a response

Dear Remus,

I'm afraid I don't know of a relative named Hermione. I do have a rather large extended family, which she might be a part of.

I couldn't believe what you wrote! If you were here, I would certainly go on a long-winded Ministry-bash. As it is, I won't say too much, besides the fact that I'd bet ten galleons Sirius Black is innocent. I know it's a sensitive issue for you, and I'm sorry for bringing it up, but you'd be surprised at the stupid things I've heard of the ministry doing, including arresting wrongfully accused people.

We have a new bartender, his name is Jeffrey and I don't believe he's even old enough to drink yet. He doesn't compare to you, of course, and Chapwell's always ranting about how "Remus did it this way!" "Remus did that instead!"

I miss you so much, nothings the same here without you.

Violet


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

They wrote letters almost daily. Violet was lonely at the Goblins Gore and Remus was as well at Hogwarts. With Remus gone and an incompetent bartender to replace him, she realized just how hard it was to work at her job.

Maybe she was so tired she didn't realize that it was her birthday until she woke up late, at 11. She hastily stuffed all her things into a worn cardboard box and pulled on jeans and Remus's sweater. She grabbed her purse and box, marched downstairs, and left a note for Mr. Chapwell that she was leaving before apparating to Hogsmeade.

She went to the Owlery there and wrote Remus a quick letter

_Remus, I really need to talk to you. I'm in Hogsmeade, meet me in front of the Shrieking Shack as soon as possible –Violet_

And after paying and sending an owl off, she went to wait.

She had arrived at 12, but it wasn't until 4 that Remus apparated there. They were undoubtedly some of the worst 6 hours of her life.

He ran over to where she was sitting on a dead log in front of the Shack.

She stood up to face him, tears already streaming down her face.

"What's wrong?" He said, out of breath. "I didn't get your letter until half an hour ago, when classes let out, and then I had to leave Hogwarts grounds before apparating-"

"I have to go" She said.

"I know I'm late, but you could probably stay a bit longer-"

Then she sobbed very loudly.

"NO! I have to leave, I don't have a choice, and I don't know how to explain it. I'm leaving for good, forever it seems"

"What do you mean?" He choked out.

"I mean, I came here for one year only. And my only way back home is if I leave in about one hour. It doesn't matter if I want to stay or not" She looked at him, still sobbing. "And I really want to stay" She added.

He was dumbfounded. "I don't understand, but I won't try to. But if your leaving forever, I need to tell you how I feel"

Violet cried harder, and tried to turn away. He clutched her shoulder and made her face him.

"Please, listen to me" He pleaded, and she nodded silently.

"I love you, Violet. I love you more than as a friend, or a coworker, or a sister. I can't imagine me without you, you're part of me now, even though you're so insufferably closed off from me. And I understand if you're still in love with your husband, but you have no idea how happy I would be if you could somehow love me back . . please" He broke off awkwardly.

And of course, Violet let out a few fresh sobs.

"Remus, I – can't – love you like that" He nodded sadly, looking at his shoes.

"But I do anyway and I'm leaving in mere minutes" He looked at her, hopeful and crushed at the same time.

"I've loved you for so long, but I never acted on it because I knew I'd be leaving so soon. I'm always leaving you alone, Remus. But I promise you; you'll find someone who won't. Who won't leave"

He instead hugged her (definitely a romantic hug, though)

"I won't find anyone better than you" He whispered into her ear.

"Remus, I feel so old, and I'm not whole anymore. I can't make you wait for me" She whispered back.

She broke away, brushing aside some tears.

Looking at him intently, she said, "Promise me you won't try to wait for me"

She thought of how happy he and Tonks had seemed before she had refused to be near Tonks anymore. Tonks loved Remus and she couldn't ruin that for either of them.

"But, Violet-"

"Please, just do it" She looked down. She couldn't keep eye contact again…

"I promise" He vowed unhappily.

Violet cried new tears. "I'm going to miss you so much."

Remus sadly gazed at her. He stepped closer, so that their faces were almost touching.

"Remus, don't do this-" She attempted, trying to pull away. Instead, he kissed her, and she knew she'd be happy if she could just spend her whole life kissing Remus. She started to feel herself fade away, but didn't break off the kiss. Maybe she would just stay there forever if she never let go.

That tactic didn't work, and she found herself alone in twilight outside of the Shrieking Shack.

Ten years apart, two very much in love people stood, wondering if it was just a dream. Remus looked at a worn cardboard box sitting next to a decaying log and realized it hadn't been. He picked up the last remnant of Violet Guinness and walked back to Hogwarts.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Hermione was very pleased to find that she still had her wand in her back pocket. Sniffling she apparated back to Grimmauld Place, going home and leaving it at the same time.

Ginny knew something major had happened, but didn't ask any questions. The first thing Hermione did when she arrived home was to take the purple out of her hair.

The next day, Hermione was in the back room of the coffee shop, trying to balance the books, but really just thinking how she was ever going to behave around Remus again.

As if on cue, he walked in, but stayed cautiously shy by the door.

"Ginny said you were in here" He stated quietly.

Hermione didn't say anything.

"Violet?" He asked questioningly.

She looked up, tears (yet again) brimming in her eyes. Remus sighed raggedly and took a seat next to her.

"I knew it was you. Ever since you left. I saw you in class fiddling with your hair and I knew that you liked to do that. But, I took that promise so seriously. And I was an idiot for that. I thought there was a reason that you knew, something magnificent, to make me wait. And now I'm with Tonks" He sounded so sad on the last note.

"Remus, I was stupid. I did everything wrong, even though I don't know how I could've acted differently. It was meant to happen, I suppose, and I'm sorry I put you through all that-"

"You didn't put me through anything I wouldn't go through again. It was the best year of my life" He looked like he was about to cry.

"Remus-what's wrong?" Hermione realized the idiocy of her question "Besides the obvious, I mean"

Remus looked down.

"Tonks is pregnant" He said quietly.

This time Hermione let out a ragged sigh.

"I've messed things up this time. And this feels so wrong, with Tonks now. But I can't leave now. I'll do my duty" He stood up. "I just want you to know that I meant everything I said, and always will" He quickly walked away before she could see him cry.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

_Dear Remus, _

_I understand your situation as best as I can, and I want to tell you not to worry. I'm still heartbroken, but I've broken my own heart this time. You've shown me that I can let people in, and that I can love. Maybe I'll move on someday, but for now I would hope that you don't come around that often. I don't want to be cruel, never to you, but I don't know if I could take it. I don't know how you stood me for ten years, and maybe one day I'll learn your secret, maybe someday I'll find a way to be around you. I'm sorry._

Violet and Hermione 

6 months later, Remus rushed from Hogwarts to St. Mungos. The hospital had owled him saying that Tonks had gone into labor.

By the time he had rushed into her room, she was cradling a tiny baby in her arms, a baby with bright orange hair.

He panted, standing by her side.

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry I missed it." He knelt so that he was closer. "What shall we call him?" He asked.

"Charles" Tonks said absentmindedly.

"Is he a metamorphagus?" He asked confusedly, ruffling Charles's red hair.

"No" Tonks replied sadly.

And then she started to cry.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Are you blind or just stupid!" She replied.

Before he could reply, she continued.

"He's not yours, he's Charlie Weasley's. I'm so sorry, Remus, I really am. It was when I went to Romania on that mission about 8 ½ months ago. I'm so sorry" She concluded.

Remus stood up.

"Do you love him?" He asked warily.

She looked at the baby. "Yes" she answered.

"Does he love you?" He countered.

"Yes . . ."

"Well, I'm happy for you two. You'll be very happy together" He started to leave.

"Remus?" He turned around. "It's not your fault that I don't love you, I-"

He smiled. "It's OK, Nymphadora. I'm old and broken."

"No you're not!" Why did he always say it?

"Yes I am, but it's fine. It's perfect, actually" And with that, he walked out of the hospital. He needed to find someone…


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Hermione was behind the counter when he walked in.

"Remus" She gasped, surprised that he was back.

"I need to talk to you" He said intently.

"Now?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Ginny? Could you cover the counter?"

Ginny came out of the back room, saw Remus and gasped. (Of course by now, Hermione had told Ginny everything).

"Yes, of course!" Ginny said.

Hermione walked with Remus out of the shop in silence. He grabbed her arm, and before she knew it, they had apparated in front of the Shrieking Shack.

"I'm sorry that I didn't give you any warning. I just really need to talk, and here seemed like the best place"

She nodded.

"The baby's not mine. Tonks loves Charlie Weasley. I don't know how it happened, but it has, and I'm so sorry. You'd be a fool to have me, but I just wanted you to know . ." He looked at her, and saw she seemed very bewildered.

"What are you trying to say?" She asked cautiously.

"I never stopped loving you."

"You're right. I would be a fool to take you back. You just think you can come back here and ask me to be with you?" She sounded more sad than angry.

"I have nothing to say" He admitted.

"Well I do." She marched up to him, and gave him a quick kiss on the lips before saying "Because I'm not leaving you alone again"

This time when they kissed no one faded away.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N Lily was at school.

Epilogue

They were the strangest family. There was Ginny, who would never get over the one love in her life, Harry. There was Lily, who was loved by so many people but missing the most important one. And then there were Hermione and Remus, who married soon after they reconciled.

Remus still works at Hogwarts, and slowly but surely, he is introducing the magical world to his new family. The Order is still too ashamed to talk to them though.

Hermione is pregnant, and it's going to boy. She sometimes feels like she doesn't deserve a child after her first pregnancy, but then she looks at Remus and knows that this is how it was meant to be.

They were all old and broken somehow. But together, they seem to find a way to stay whole.

The End.

A/N Thank you for reading my story!


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